Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Flowing Read Waves

I don't care what you say...Writer's Block is a bullshit lie.
Telling me that you can't write.
Telling me that you can't post on this because you are scared or that you aren't as good as a writer is all an excuse.
Please, I don't want to hear it anymore.

I also don't want to hear why you are still in your dead-end job.
I don't want to hear about why you are still with that girl/boy because "there are things you don't know them."
I don't want to hear it because frankly, my ears are starting to bleed.

It is coming out of my earlobe, dripping on the pavement.
The puddle is starting to grow.
It's getting deep, so deep that a current is forming.
The waves crash against my feet.
I am falling in, trying to stay a float but it's ok because I crawl out.
I will not drown this time because of you.
I will not see my maker because I don't have a reason, an excuse to fall to the bottom as I take in the last breath.
An excuse to fail.
I will not fail.
I will not fail.
I will not fail this time because time is not on my side anymore.
I got to take that step.

The spotlight is off me as I walk out in the cold air, watching my breathe in the cool, night sky and I still love it.
It's me.
I'm leaving it all behind me.
So long, look at me waving.

This time I mean it.
This time I'm not gonna hold your hand.
It's now or never because I never know if now is right.
Scream if it's the only way I'll hear you.
Make my ears bleed, make me drown because I will not go down.
I will only know that you tried.
That you did it.
You did it because you felt it in your gut.
And I wake up.

I wake up because I want the easy way out.
I won't face my nightmares.
I try too hard to avoid them when I'm awake.
I wake up and the sun is rising and it feels ok on my face.
Just ok because who really likes to wake up?
I'm going back to bed.
I'm going back to my slumber to dream and don't wake me up.
Not this time.
Let me sleep in.

10 comments:

kagroo said...

I do know I spelled it Read.

qhunt said...

Dan,
I can tell you have some very complex emotions running through your mind. do you want to talk about it? I have a psych-therapy group starting at 1:00 if you would like to joing us.
Q

kagroo said...

Only if you can play guitar and i can sing.

qhunt said...

sure you can. Step into my office.

christine said...

this doesn't sound like you

kagroo said...

We are who we are...just because it doesn't sound like me, doesn't mean I didn't write it. It's just a different voice...that's all.

Anonymous said...

No comment. I can't write.

kagroo said...

No...I read half of somethig you wrote me. I enjoyed it.

BOOYA.

Anonymous said...

Boone,
I guess i could say you have issues but who doesn't. Anything written like that reminds me of parables, they can be as deep and meaningful as you want them to be. Either you are just tired of it all and want to be where you want to be right now. I figured you are tired of all the crap people feed you like "scared to post" and you just want to sleep. in.

kagroo said...

I just wrote one night and this is what came out. It really doesn't bother me that people don't write and people don't post...these are a lot of issues that I myself deal with...meaning with myself using excuses or reasons. That's all. I better write a new one quick and leave this behind us...way behind.