A Poem From the Best Boyfriend West of the Mississippi.

Let me explain,

it's not what you think.

When I call you a cunt,

I don't mean it in a negative way.
It's an acronym for my true feelings.

Caring
Understanding
Nurturer
Tolerant

It has four letters,

like love.

And when it comes down to it,

what does love really mean?

Loser
Over-thinker
Violent
Embarrassing

Using the word C.U.N.T. is my way of expression.
Originality.
Something I thought you always appreciated about me.
How I express myself so openly.
Never second guessing the consequences of my actions.
It's why you stay with me.

So know that when I call you a C.U.N.T.,
It means I would walk to the edges of the Earth
to make you happy.
That I think about you when I need to smile.
That I don't L.O.V.E. you and never will L.O.V.E. you.

Ben Harper - Another Lonely Day

beer pressure

he sits and listens to the many reasons why she doesn't love him.

there's no spark.
she feels like he answers for her and not himself.
he's not social enough.
he's too social.

and as the list continues, as the contradictions build,
he thinks to himself, "when the time is right i will remind you why i no longer love you."
but for now he continues to drink
and consume the excuses why it's "more complicated" than he thinks it is.

A Candle Light Ballet

He sits in the corner on the floor,

using a candle to light this room.

Unpacked boxes piled on top of each other.

He ignores the pictures that are stored inside of them.

The pictures with the false smiles and faces showing secrets of a failed relationship.

Only holding on because love is ignorant and she refuses to say no.

He asks himself rhetorical questions.

He knows the answers. He knows how he got here.

And as the light flickers the shadows on the wall tell a story of a time when loves wasn't so complex.

When honesty wasn't a fictitious word.

When love meant it's definition and not a word used to fill a void.

And as Act III comes to an end, he refuses to applaud.

The light dims.

He sits in the corner with unpacked boxes.

No Way Back -- Foo Fighters

Lately, I've been

Livin' in my head

The rest of me is dead,

I'm dying for truth.

Make me, believe,

No more left and right,

Come on take my side,

I'm fightin' for you,

I'm fightin' for you.

Pleased to meet you take my hand,

There is no way back from here,

Pleased to meet you say your prayers,

There is no way back from here,

But I don't care,

No way back from here.

Wake me, I'm ready,

Somethin' don't seem right,

I was dreamin',

I was talkin' to you,

Memory, mend me,

No one's seen my share,

Things I can't repair,

I'm breakin' to you,

I'm breakin' to you.

Pleased to meet you take my hand,

There is no way back from here,

Pleased to meet you say your prayers,

There is no way back from here,

But I don't care,

No way back from, here.

Tonight It's Real

Tonight I won't drink.
I'll keep the poison outside of my system.

I won't fly away to another city,
To escape how I'm feeling.

Tonight I'll just take it all in.

Let it feel how it should rather than ignoring my emotions.

It's new.
It's old.
It's what I'm doing.

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You...

I Got Beats

You asked for it, well now you got it.  Select interludes from the world famous "Michigan Camping Trip Soundtrack."

Camping Rap

C & S Demo Pt 1

C & S Demo Pt 2

Friendship

Nathan in Hell

Why You Do Dat?

The Giving Tree

Teddy Bear

We used to be together everyday.

You held me so tight when you slept at night.

But with time, you got bored with me.

You buried me into the toy graveyard known as the closet.

I know I'm not as appealing as I used to me.
My fur is scratchy, my right eye has faded away
but you know that I'll always be here.
I don't have a choice.

I was made to comfort. 

My whole purpose now is wishing sadness upon you.

A day when you need to visit your childhood.

When I can feel your arms wrapped around me again.

  

What I Think About When I Run

I wish I could say that these are all made up...but unfortunately...this is not the case.

1. If it was possible to run into a liquor store, steal a 40oz of beer and make it out without getting caught.
   
2. Why am I listening to Miley Cirus?
3. Why does the coffee shop, Coffee Fix, close at 7 pm. It's LA. People don't go to bed that early. People don't go to bed.
4. Making sure I don't get hit by the time traveling DeLorean car returning from the past when I cross the street.
5. Where to hide in the surrounding areas if a vicious dog attacks.
6. Why is it called happy hour when it usually last longer than an hour.
   

Live to Be Free

"He's So Lonely Without Any Decent Friends Here."

You never give it that much thought but the strength of a friendship can be compared to a t-shirt. We've all owned shirts that you've worn once because you accidentally spilled something on it that creates a stain that won't wash out or you get it caught on something, tear it, finalizing it's fate into the rag bin.

You have t-shirts that your girlfriend hates. It was that one shirt you'd wear each weekend for the last seven years but for some reason they don't approve of it. It's that one discussion that you really want to argue about but in the end, you feel that it's not worth it. That you shouldn't stand up and fight for this shirt. There are certain compramises one must make. It's time to let it go and start with something new.

The color of the shirt is gonna fade...

It's gonna fade and get holes in it and it becomes the decision of throwing it away or keeping it. Throw away history to put on that brand new t-shirt. Change is refreshing, but it's not always good.

When you put on that shirt, it fits, it's comfortable, unlike the new shirts you get that shrink after the first wash or were a "bad decision" when you bought them.

It's the shirt that has modeled with your personality.

You have shirts from when you were ten that you still own. It's something that you would greatly miss if it were no longer there but at the same time forget that you ever owned it.

T-shirts describe the kind of guy you are. Is it a plain white one? Does it have a funny saying on it? Is it long-sleeved? Is it short-sleeved?

I have a 100 shirts I know I will never wear again but for some reason I won't throw them away. They are stored in the darkness of my closet. I keep them, in their bruised, torn, stained, deformed state because I never know. One day I may want that back in my life, back in the shirt rotation. One day but in reality I keep them because I know that it's hard for me to let go. It's hard for me to accept the fact that those shirts will never be the same as they once were. No matter how many times I wash them with my hands, no matter how many times I sew them back together, those shirts are no longer a part of my life.

Literally...

And the Child's Daddy Is...

Don't trust the bitch? I sure as shit don't. You asked for it and now you got it. Here's your chance to re-create your favorite moments from the Maury Povich Show. Apparently there's such a high demand for a DNA Paternity Test that you can go to your local drug store and buy one yourself. All you need is a semen sample, whole blood or vaginal smear (There are easier options but I was never going to have a chance to use the word vaginal smear in a sentence and I couldn't pass it up) and send it off to the home office of Identity Genetics, Inc located in beautfiul Brookings, South Dakota. Within 3-5 days, and a small fee of $120,  you'll be able to say, "I knew it, I knew you had been sleeping around on me," start crying and then say, "but I'm still going to raise her as my own."

God bless America!

How to Talk to Someone Who Claims They Know How to Talk to Girls.

I'm 32 years old and relationships never get easier with age.  As a kid I used to think I'd find my soul mate in high school, be married by 22 and have children.  Pretty simple right?  Then I went through puberty and that way of thinking went to shit.  Because when it comes down to it, no matter what anyone says, it is never that simple.  

So why the fuck should I take advice from nine year old Alec Greven, author of the book "How to Talk to Girls?"  I'm not.  In fact, it angers me that this book can be found at Barnes & Nobles.  I get it, I get that some book executive saw dollar signs at this gimmick.  And that the media ate this up.  He's been on numerous talk shows and The New York Post even considered this news.  The New York Post!  But it doesn't mean I have to buy into all the hype.

So I took a deep breath from my anger rant and actually read what this kid had to say and this is the final conclusion that I came to...Americans are idiots and their asses must be sore from jumping on the latest bandwagon.

"Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil."

I don't even know what this means?  Are they leaking some kind of fluid and need lubrication?  Are they not getting something changed every 2,000 miles? 

"As for his own love life, he said he is not dating anyone at the moment. 'I'm a little too young,' he confessed." 

Oh really?  He's a little too young?  Why would I take advice from someone who doesn't even date?  Would I take Neurological advice from someone who has never studied a brain?  No.  In fact, this kid's a fraud when it comes down to it.  He's quick to give advice but he's not brave enough to jump into it himself.  

"Alec - who just finished a children's book on the Watergate scandal - said he wants to be a full-time writer when he grows up, with a weekend job in archaeology or paleontology."

...

"The best choice for most boys is a regular girl. Remember, some pretty girls are coldhearted when it comes to boys. Don't let them get to you."

What is a regular girl?  I feel like this kid is telling me to settle.  To stay away from a pretty girl because pretty girls are "mean" and may "call you bad names," but I got news for you kid...there are some regular girls who are coldhearted.  There are ugly girls with zits on their necks that are coldhearted.  There are paraplegics, women in coma's, mom's, grandmothers and even astronauts that are coldhearted.  So please don't tell me that there is a specific kind of woman to stay away from because at the end of the day, it's all a gamble.  

You have to put yourself out there to find what you are looking for.  It's gonna fucking sting at times, burn and just turn your world upside down.  You're going to hate it all and love it all at the same time because that's what dating is all about.  But when you find that woman, the one who doesn't mind that you still eat hot dogs.  The one that understands how passionate you are about things that don't deserve passion.  That girl you love spending time with, even when you do nothing on a Sunday...it will all be worth it at the end of the day.  This I can promise you.  So there's no need to saddle up because this is not a gimmick.    

The Word by Tony Hoagland

The Word

                by Tony Hoagland

 

Down near the bottom

of the crossed-out list

of things you have to do today,

between “green thread”

and “broccoli,” you find

that you have penciled “sunlight.”

Resting on the page, the word

is beautiful. It touches you

as if you had a friend

and sunlight were a present

he had sent from someplace distant

as this morning—to cheer you up,

and to remind you that,

among your duties, pleasure

is a thing

 

that also needs accomplishing.

Do you remember?

that time and light are kinds

of love, and love

is no less practical

than a coffee grinder

or a safe spare tire?

Tomorrow you may be utterly

without a clue,

but today you get a telegram

from the heart in exile,

proclaiming that the kingdom

still exists,

the king and queen alive,

still speaking to their children,

—to any one among them

who can find the time

to sit out in the sun and listen.

And this is why I write.  This is why writer's write.  Because there will always be days when you feel neglected, beat down and just plain lost.  You won't have a clue on what your next step will be and a poem finds it's way in front of you.  Something written by an author you have never heard of, sent by a friend you haven't talked to in years.  And you read it once.  You read  it twice and you continue reading it until it feels like it's a saying that has been passed down in your family from generation to generation.   

Days like these are days that you have to believe that tomorrow's light will be brighter and warmer than it currently feels on your face.  

To be patient.

That's why I write.  

Cheetos Death Ball

I love Cheetos.  I have found myself eating Cheetos everyday for lunch.  But the people at Frito-Lay have somehow turned a simple concept, into something so outrageous, that you have to question who is running the company.

One day at lunch,  I walked down the chip aisle at Ralph's grocery store and I came upon these mother fuckers.  Look at the bag...they are huge!  I bought a bag because I had to see what the hype was all about (plus they were on sale).  And when I opened it, I looked in and I saw this...

They are the size of a golf ball.  I scanned the front and back of the bag but did not see one of those "must be this age to eat," because to me, it seems that these things are a potential threat to little kids.  The bag does state "Dangerously Cheesey Balls," like the kind of danger that you choke to death on.

But if you survive level one, the huge cheese balls tear your mouth apart.  Imagine eating Captain Crunch with shards of glass.  I felt

 like I was a P.O.W. and they were trying to get me to reveal the location of the secret bunker.  

Sorry Cheetos, you dropped the cheese ball on this one.  Keep it simple, keep it real.   And stop trying to murder people.  

Grass is Always Greener...

I have nothing to say. It seems that most of my stories these days end with, "And then I found a twenty dollar bill." What happened to me? I used to be filled with anger and hate and these days I seem to be a gentle giant. Which is fine, if that's what you are into but it sometimes gets boring. Being happy can be boring because you start questioning your actions. "Can't get too drunk, don't want to get in a fight." "I shouldn't call into work tomorrow." BORING!!! There are always balances and I have yet to find that. Still looking. May never find it. And you may read this and question that I get into trouble. There are a lot of you who think you know me, but in the end, I let you see what I want. Fuck it. Who wants a shot?

The Return

Yes. I have returned to this format. Why you ask? Well it's a place where my voice can be heard. Sure I love writing poetry. I love trying to write short stories but on this blog, I can say whatever the fuck I want. I don't have to worry about changing the world. All I have to worry about is getting my thoughts down on paper...or digital paper as the kids are calling it. I'm not sure what kids call it that but I'm sure there's some kid in Ohio who posted that once on Ain't It Cool News.

My point is...is that I just want to write. I still have a lot to say and as much as I love the site...www.atthecornerbar.com, I tend to put too much pressure on myself. Here...I can say poop and fart and well, it's just how it is.

So come back. Don't come back. I really don't care because I'm still going to put my thoughts down.