Class C Extinguisher

Nothing like a good work out and Death facing you in the eyes to help you sleep a little bit better at night...

Tonight was Taco night. I have to say that this may be my favorite dinner. I love Mexican food, I love all food actually but I was really looking forward to this mean. I was in the kitchen browning the meat, warming up the oven so it would be ready for the taco shells. I'm standing there staring at the meat because quite frankly, there's nothing else to do in a kitchen. The sound of crackling, snapping was coming from inside the oven. I was a little confused because there was nothing in the oven. I opened it up and a bright, white light was flashing into my eyes, it was like staring into a sparkler. For some reason, this electric oven has become some type of fuse. The crackling light slowly moved from one end to the other. I closed the oven, thinking nothing of it at first. I went into the computer room to ask my brother about the situation.

"Um, I think there's something wrong with the oven. It's like sparkling inside."

He just looked at me because I said it in a non-threatening tone and he had just purchased the new game Oblivion for his computer. In a way, his lack of reaction to my lack of expression confirmed that it wasn't a problem.

I went back into the kitchen, browning the meat, opening up the oven ever couple of seconds thinking in my mind, "Yeah, it's still doing it." I mean what the fuck? How many times does this happen, it's not a normal sight and at the same time in it's future act of destruction, it was beautiful. Imagine how the A-Bomb looked when it first went off. That was really fucking cool and you couldn't help but stare. Knowing that the situation was worse than I really pretended it to be I went back to my brother.

"I really need a second opinion, could you please see this."

He followed me into the kitchen, opened the oven door and when I saw his facial expression, I realized that this was a bigger deal than I was playing it up to be. Unsure on what to do, and still making sure the meat wouldn't burn, we tried to figure out a solution to this problem. Luckily, we didn't have to wait long because the oven decided to freak the fuck out and smoke came everywhere.

The problem with an electrical fire is that you can't use water to put it out. I don't know if you've ever dropped a hair dryer in a tub filled with water but it's not a good idea. You can't blow it out, because it's electric. What do you do? There's only one real answer to that.

I grabbed a device you use to cork wine that's already been opened and ran outside to the front door where the fire extinguisher was displayed in it's glss case. For some reason I knew it didn’t have one of those little hammers you use to break the glass. "Break glass in case of emergency," so I did and glass smashed everywhere. I never really understood why glass was the choice considering when you break it, it falls everywhere causing another threat to people walking around.

When I got back into the kitchen the fire alarms were going off everywhere. The cats were running under beds. My brother's girlfriend was very alarmed because she did not know what was going on. I really don't understand how I can stay calm during fucked up situations because I just remember telling her that everything will be alright and to calm down.

I busted the cap and aimed it towards the oven. I sprayed a little into the oven and the fire went out. It did it's job but that white snow was everywhere, in our lungs and all over the meat I was trying so hard to cook. The substance in the fire extinguisher doesn't taste too good, it's a bitter taste. It was in my mouth, in my nose, everywhere. The inside looked like the end scene from Time Bandits when the Firefighter came up with a toaster with a smoking, black piece of rock in it.

The touching thing was that our neighbor ran over with a fire extinguisher. He obviously had planned ahead on situations like this and was going to let us use his. I would have rather preferred some sugar or honey for my tea.

The night ended with us cutting off power to the stove and eating Taco Bell. It's one of those situations that make you wonder if you would have gotten a drink of water while this happened, or if you started dinner two minutes later if it would have been worse. It could have been better but I'll never know. All I know are two things right now; I won't be using an oven anytime soon and that Taco Bell seems to always fuck up the order (A story for another time).