Thursday, January 05, 2006

No Porn Stars For Me

Today I was watching TV when my brother's girlfriend told me that my phone was talking. This meant that someone was calling me with an unknown i.d. (I put the sample ringer which includes various people talking and random bits of music, for unknown calls). They left a message and a half hour later I checked to see that it was a producer for the AVN Awards. If you don't know what that is,

Don't read at work

Not only would I have gotten paid money to work as a Production Assistant, I would have been hanging out with porn stars...pun included. This story has a sad ending to it for I could not take the job. I played every angle possible but I could not do it. Moral reasons? NO. Wasn't paying enough? NO. Well what the hell was it? No car.

You see being a P.A. means having to be able to drive around whenever someone needs something. You are the one who provides for people who can't leave the area; directors, producers, etc.

"Hey you, I need you to get me lunch."
"Ok, what do you want?"

"Hey you, I need you to buy me some more anal lube."
"I know right where I can get some."

In the end, it would have just been another job, which is something I would have loved and I'll always wonder what kind of conversation starter it would have been for future employer’s who have looked over my resume. In the grand things of life, I feel that everything happens for a reason and this one just wasn't for me.

9 comments:

christine said...

you can get a cheap rental car. seriously - you should try to see if you can still do it.

m said...

You already know how I feel, but here's some advice from one of America's best writers, Mark Twain:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do."

kagroo said...

I had to take this down for a bit because I was in a pissy mood and didn't want to hear how good my friends are for helping me out. I know that sounds really stupid but once I got out of the funk, I put it back up. Mainly, it's been that I can't sleep in the morning. I'm pretty sure i'm having nightmares and my body is resisting to go back to sleep because it doesn't want to be a part of that. Thank you very much and no need for Mark Twain because I won't regret not doing this job.

qhunt said...

Dan, good call man. Stick to your guns. Don't take this job. when you make it big this is going to be one of those crappy "all access" shows dartboard. every time any one gets a little fame, all the news shows can't wait to bring up a, less that steller, porn past. It never fails. steer clear man, you are better than that, car or no car. To tell you the truth, I was hoping you woud say "morals" was the reason you didn't take the job. Not necessarily religious morals, but business morals. Respectable producers, directors, film makers, etc. don't do porn. Not taking the job would be better for your career in the long run.

kagroo said...

Q, in a sense I think it was morals. Don't get me wrong, I do love my share of porn but I just didn't have it in me to have to deal with fifty year old men hovering around, thinking they are gonna get laid by their favorite porn star. Such is life.

kagroo said...

I just fucked a porn star...you like that doc? The video will be coming out soon...The Irish Curse. Get your copy...today.

kagroo said...

Oh I know what you meant.

qhunt said...

i ruined everything. sorry doc, the fantasy is dead.

kagroo said...

Q...you always tend to ruin it for us single guys...the fantasy...you jerk. I hope someone steals your lunch at school.