Monday, August 08, 2005

Access Equals Asses Hollywood

WARNING: Pandora's Box has been opened and what you are about to experience may shock some of you. It may abort some of your unborn babies and worst of all...you may just enjoy it.

I'm not the biggest fan of news. Ok, let me rephrase that. I love the news, but I'm not a fan of how biased it is. They say freedom of speech but in the long run, it's all run by big time money makers who want to turn a profit. Let’s spend twenty eight minutes on war and killing and fuck you and the other two minutes will show you a clown and some rainbows.

Peter Jennings passed away today of lung cancer. Yes he smoked and he could have prevented it but he didn't and he's gone on to a better place. Now, I'm not who sits down and watches the news but I knew who he was. I've grown up on knowing who he was and what he did for a living. Even though he was Canadian, he was American, like apple pie. I was watching TV. today...I tend to do that and I was watching Access Hollywood. In a way, it was nice to see that they were paying homage to him. Even a junk show like that is showing respect to someone like Peter Jennings but here's the catch. The segment lasted a minute...with more to come later. So what was more important? "Britney Spear's Baby Shower."

It seems like Britney's baby shower was the other day and what happened? One of those pieces of shit who likes to stalk people because they say it's an "honest living" was shot in the leg by a pellet gun. They showed his injury a thousand times and it was a little bloody. This fucking pussy had to have an ambulance and fire department called because he was shot in the leg by a fucking bb gun. Then he went on to say that he's going to sue who did this. Of course, Britney's security was blamed but the Malibu Police Department is going to run a full investigation on the subject. Oh thank you. Thank you Jesus for sacrificing yourself for all of our sins so I can put up with this shit. These are the same mother fuckers who sell pictures to US Weekly with quotes like, "They shop like us. They eat like us. They bleed like us. They murder like us and get away with it." I really don't give a fuck if these "photographers" claim that it's a legit job. It’s not and I'll tell you why. All of their exclusive pictures look like shit. They are always blurry and you can barely make out what's going on and they get paid a ton of money. A fucking bb gun. People are dying in a war that is done, or so they said, and this guy is crying about a cut.

I'm getting off the subject. I tend to do that. So in a state of shock, I finished watching Access Hollywood to see remainder of the Peter Jennings story and where did they put it? Oh, it was at the end credits. HA. At that time I picked up the TV. and smashed it over my head. Luckily my brother as a decent warranty on it.

I blame myself for thinking that this big as corn filled turd was going to show some respect to an anchorman who we've all had in your living room from one night to another. I'm tipping my forty for you homie. You will be missed.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You always give it a nice touch Dan.

Oh, and the only reason the pussy called the police and fire department is to draw attention to the assault, document the injury, and how/where it occurred, thereby raising the settlement he will undoubtadly get from Ms. Spears. The sad thing is that he really deserves to get shot a second time at closer range.

Robby Saltzman shot me in the leg with a bb gun once. That hurt, that really hurt, but I didn't call the cops and I was a child. He also threw a mud ball directly into my eye. I had to go to the emergency room to have the sand flushed from my eye, and then I had to wear a patch for a week or so while my cornea, or whatever, healed. Of all my older brother's friends I sustained more injuries directly from Robby Saltzman than all the others combined.

I'm just rambling. I too was sad to hear that Peter Jennings passed away. Sad in that, oh some celebrity died kind of sad way. Especially when they showed his empty chair at the end of "World News Tonight" What an attractive, charming and witty dead man.

Anonymous said...

To be fair to Access Hollywood, most of their audience only cares about Britney's baby shower and they don't even know who Peter Jennings is. Sad but true.

Anonymous said...

Much respect to the lot of you (and P. Jennings)...

kagroo said...

Well I know about Access Hollywood's audience which I found it weird that they would try and trick the audience to think that they were a legit news show. That's what pissed me off.

qhunt said...

good call dan, (your calls usually are). I hate those stupid shows and magazines that make celebs out to be more than human or something. 99% of them when to a school just like ours, play a sport just like we did, got nervous when the had there first kiss, got picked on by one clique or another, again, just like we did. The only difference is, they have different profession than us that puts them in the public eye. They didn't somehow grow huge muscles, or have x-ray vision because they are popular now. THEY ARE JUST LIKE YOU AND ME! I love my rockers and movie stars, don't get me wrong. But would i freak out if i saw one, NO. They are people too. Who cares if Brittney had a shower, she is still alive. Peter isn't. show some respect. and that bb gun guy. I hope Dave or his wife represents him in court.(what ever that means)

kagroo said...

Like I said...I know there is a demand for those types of shows...and that's fine with me...but keep it that way. Don't try and make your show legit by remembering someone but having it over powered by a shitty baby shower. I guess with death comes life. The vicious cycle of life.