Being unemployed, in an unfamiliar city, you can only look for new jobs for so long before you need to take a break. I can only read various entertainment news and sport updates so many times before I need to be distracted by something else. My newest obsession has become MySpace. There’s an 89% chance that you or someone you know has an account but just in case you have been in a coma for the last three years and are one of the 11% that do not know, it’s a community that has been created online where people post pictures of themselves, write blogs and stalk, I meant look for other friends or high school classmates. It’s a simple idea that has caught on with no signs of slowing down. It is official that this has become part of Pop Culture and is here for now but just because it’s here, doesn’t mean I have to like it. I hope that with time it fades away such as Crystal Clear Pepsi and the Atkins Diet trend. You want to know what it so annoying about MySpace? I thought you’d never ask.
Just Call Me, Not MySpace Me—I’ve noticed that people are relying way too much on MySpace as a means of communication. You used to go to a bar and ask for a girl’s number but these days it seems that they give you their account name instead I don’t think it’s a way of proving how interested you are by logging in to their account, I think it’s because it’s what’s “in” right now.
Friends who I have known for years won’t return my phone calls or emails but if I post a message on their site, they respond in mere minutes.
“I got your call but thought it would be easier if I sent you a message on this.”
It’s not easier, that’s why I called you. It is as if MySpace is sending out subliminal messages that is brain washing who ever logs on it because I don’t see how it is mathematically faster to get in touch with someone online than it would be to call their cell phone.
It’s Your Own Fault—Women, what is the real purpose of posting ten pictures of yourself in various sexy positions? Yes, I know this sounds like a stupid question to ask because lord knows I love checking out hot women, but I only ask this because the number one thing I hear my women friends say is, “I always get messages from creepy guys. It grosses me out.” This is something that should gross you out but there is a simple solution to this problem…stop posting pictures of yourself bent over looking behind you and you will stop getting messages from guys asking you if you “Want to hook up?” or “I wouldn’t mind being that chair right about now.”
This Song Does Not Sum Up Your Life—MySpace provides extra features that can keep people entertained (or distracted) for hours. Hours that could have been spent reading a book, taking a walk outside or looking for jobs but when I’m looking through these accounts I don’t want that. I’m here to check out the pictures of the women I mentioned above. I really don’t care about your cool background or the stupid “My Bulletin Space” which is the equivalent to mass forwards I get on my email accounts. What I hate most about these other features that MySpace provides is that you can put a song on your site. A song that usually slows down the loading time of the page and scares the crap out of me because I forget the speakers are on and “Baby Got Back” starts blasting. If Sir Mix-A-Lot is the artist that defines who you are then why am I even on your site? How can you justify your life if this is the song that defines you life?
In fact, why do I go to MySpace? At first, I thought it was “kinda cool” but the more I think about it, the more I write about it, the more it makes me sick to the stomach. I do realize that I don’t have to go there. That I should practice what I’m preaching but it’s tough for me to stop. It’s become an addiction, a car crash that I can’t look away from. I am afraid that if it keeps at the rate that it’s going that we will all eventually download ourselves into cyberspace and not the cool Tron version where you can ride on light cycles but the crappy version of Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace.
So maybe this is more of a public service announcement or an after school special rather than a clever article that I have written up in the last hour. This is my story, my tale to warn you about the evil ways of what MySpace can do to your life. Even if you think that you can only do it once and not go back, you will be wrong. Don’t say I didn’t warn you and if you do, you are no more a fool than I once was.
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6 comments:
Ok it's been awhile but I can relate to this article. Not only is there the "myspace" but also a larger amount of sites that promote storing your mailing info(only for the eyes of ones you know, like an online address book), or travelling info so that others can keep in contact.
I get countless emails saying requesting I take part in this new way of "keeping in touch" and when I sit back, maybe after falling for it once and putting all of my info into one site... why? Who exactly is using this to keep track of my life and habits? Cause I don't... it's just another waste of time.
As for "myspace", I'm guilty I do have one. No song though... as for the pics, ya I can't say that I'm bending over in any of them but it's interesting to see what others have put up. I keep all my incriminating info for blogs... for there's a certain amount of anonymity.
I agree though, just call, come over or see me later... don't send me messages that I might not get until a couple days too late.
A friend sent me their page, and it went from there. The next thing I know, I'm looking at a rogue's gallery of old friends, enemies, ex's and randoms...and I had mixed feelings.
On the one hand, it felt great to know that these people really haven't made it any further in life. I always imagine these people living the good life. Thanks to MySpace, I now know one of my ex's is not drinking Asti from a glass slipper and running around like some hip heiress. She's living at home with her parents and selling parts for a plumbing company. So MySpace, when used in conjuction with my sick desire to keep score with the past, has been an excellent tool.
But it still sucks. It turns people (me)into incredible online weirdos, lurking through the past darkly. And I don't see any real communication happening. Posts usually consist of a series of random declarations: "Hey sweetie! We should all go out on friday!" or "What's up?" or "You rock!"
i'll give your space some attention
My next blog was going to be about MySpace, but now Dan has stolen that damn idea. Here's the deal. MySpace can be a good time searching and looking for people, and then stalking them. But if you want some real fun go to www.mydeathspace.com. There you will find links to MySpace profiles for those subscribers to MySpace that have subsequently died. Once a subscriber unexpectedly dies, their friends tend to turn the profile into a shrine of sorts, writing messages to these dead people as if they were still alive. It's a whole new way to grieve the death of your highschool buddy.
It can be sad. I found one guy who killed himself on his 18th birthday. The messages leading up to his death were typical, "Hey let's get together." and "Hey Happy Birthday, I hope you have a wonderful day." and then the inevitable switch to: "Oh my God, I can't believe it's really true!"
I also found a woman who was killed in a car accident. The messages and blogs posted prior to her demise centered around an injury to her hand. This injury had prevented her from driving and the very last blog, before her car accident induced death, was about the removal of some apperatice from her hand and her renewed ability to drive. She was excited to be able to go places on her own again. Apparently she accidently rolled her car off an embankment and the memorial messages shortly followed. It's tugs a new emotional region when you get to read the foreshadowing without any guess work.
So if you are tired of stalking your old friends and really want to feel like a weirdo, start looking up some dead guys.
ahh, my stalker space. Sharlyn just put a site up on there. Maybe the stupidest thing I ever saw.
I wonder how many MySpace girls have herpes.
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