Watching a relationship grow between two people is a fantastic thing. Call me a sap, call me a sucker but I really enjoy hearing about it. The other day I was having a conversation with one of my friends about his relationship (Don't worry, it's nobody on this because I know I'd get in trouble for talking about it). Apparently he really likes this girl but they won't officially say that they are dating. I can respect that until he said he was going to the store to buy a toothbrush. I asked him if it was for her place and he said that it was. I went on to tell him that leaving your very own toothbrush over at her place is a HUGE step, and that is something that you do when you two are dating. In my opinion, this is how the dating scale works.
1. I'm hanging out with this girl/guy.
2. I'm kind of seeing this girl/guy.
3. I'm dating this girl/guy
a) Getting your own drawer.
b) Having your own toothbrush.
You see on my list, the toothbrush is a division of the girlfriend/boyfriend scenario. I did think of the possibility of "friends with benefits" but those "friends" don't stay over. They get the fuck out of there because staying over is something that is part of a relationship. Unless you are sick like Quentin Hunt, a man who will use anyone and everybody’s toothbrush because he doesn't see anything wrong with it, the toothbrush is that next level in dating.
Now I am not saying that I know anything when it comes to relationships. In fact, I'd say that I have the least experience out of anyone in that situation but I do have to say this...I pay attention. You are dating her, it's true. Denial ain't a river in Egypt(The Nile is if you were confused); it's what my friend is in right now and is sinking fast. The faster he can accept this, the better and stronger that the relationship will be. Dr. McCauley...OUT!
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15 comments:
Yup, they're definitely dating.
What I don't get, though (what I've never gotten), is why guys tend to be so afraid of "dating" someone (or rather, admitting to "dating"), as if that means that they are completely whipped, or that their manhood has come to an end. Can you guys explain that to me?
On the other hand, most women are apt to claim a relationship before it actually is one. (Probably because it seems less tawdry that way.)
Funny how that works.
About the toothbrush... you'll know it's really serious, kagroo, when he'll use her toothbrush and not even care.
Yes, redpoe, especially if he scrubs his tounge with it...
and years later, it will turn into this:
I Love the Idea of My Wife
Ok, this is the "Sick man Quentin Hunt". I have to defend my honor. Yes, I don't find it "gross" or "repulsive" or "wrong" to use a friends toothbrush. As long as you know the person, there isn't big chuncks of food still in the bristles, and there is a quality toothpaste to compliment the brush, I don't see a problem. I have been doing this since college and I am one of the healthiest people you will meet. The only difference between your toothbrush and your friends is the mental thought of not using your own, period. Toothpaste kills bacteria, I have never caught a cold, aquired gingavitus, or became sick in any way from this practice. I think modern science has turned everyone into "germaphobes" these days. yeah, there are germs out there, but our bodies and stomach acid kill 99% of them. You have more of a chance of getting sick from shaking a strangers hand (which we do everyday) then you do of using your buddies toothbrush. BUT, I can agree with dan, actually bringing your toothbrush over to this girls house is a big step. Myself, I have never done that because I just use her's, and I love it.
Really? A drawer comes before the toothbrush? Whenever I hear things like this I think of the movie "how to lose a guy in 10 days" in which the girl brought over many "girl type" decor and spread them through out his home. Personally I've never done this... and no, I've not had anyone bring his toothbrush to my place.
As for qhunt... I can see where you're coming from, it's understandable to view shaking a hand more germ filled than anothers toothbrush. I've used anothers before, it was a last resort, I'd forgotten mine and thought using my friends was better than having bad breath... then I was horrified when I later found out I'd actually used her husbands. I think it depends on the relationship you have with the owner of the borrowed brush.
As for redpoe's comment, I have to agree... why is it that men don't want to admit and women want to commit. I've been one of those girls that's thought there was something "there" when in reality there wasn't at all. However in our (or mine, I won't talk in generalities) defense, there are times when I've been given a certain impression where logically yes, it would've seemed as though there was something. So who knows, why can't we all just be a little more honest. Oh that's right cause there's feelings that can get hurt, tears that can be cried, regrets to be had, venting to be spoken and why do all that when we can just deny deny deny... seems easier.
ps- although under a new name, it's me "miss ams" writing
Ok for the record, Q uses other people's toothbrushes without asking. He'll come out of the bathroom using your toothbush and act like nothing is wrong. I think it was more of the act of not telling you that gets to me...plus I don't like sharing my toothbrush...underwear, yes...toothbrush, no.
I feel the toothbrush does come first but didn't think I had to put the sub-points in order. My bad.
Please don't gernearlize genders in this case. Not all women want to comitt. Not all men won't admitt. I know this for a fact because I know people who are like that who are both men and women. Next thing you are telling me is that all women are victims to men and how poorly they treat them...that's a whole different subject...in fact...i'm sure I'll write about it someday.
you bastards...no one knew it was you...you fucked it up.
What the fuck is going on on here...I am not censoring...plus there is a comment that was taken away on the earlier post.
Yes. We Republicans care about you.
See, Dick Cheney is kind of like a right-wing Santa Claus informant: he sees you when you're sleeping; he knows when you're awake; he reads all your blogs and emails and listens to your phone calls so that he can tell Santa who should be on the naughty list. You'd better watch out.
I didn't mean to generalize whatsoever... sometimes it does seem as though that is the case though. Its funny how is works cause whenever I don't want to commit... someone comes along that does... it's all about timing, and for me... it's usually bad, there's been good but ya you get what I mean.
As for women being victims... no. We may like to act as though we are, I personally enjoy being the weaker sex, having someone take control and all that jazz. But for some women to say we're always victims is a huge mistake... most times its at least particially our own fault for being in a situation anyway. We all make poor choices... and someone ends up being a victim sometimes... but it's not always the girls.
Ok Doc... you shouldn't have posted that if you're wishing to not jinx it. I think there's times though I'd have to agree that when you put words to a relationship it goes the other way... not where you want to be. I hope all works out though.
miss ams, i really take offense to your comment of "most times its at least particially our own fault for being in a situation anyway." i'm reading it in the sense that you're saying that when women are victimized in any manner (physically or verbally) that it is something that is literally of their own choosing and what they bring upon themselves??? please explain. i am hoping i am misunderstanding you and that all you may mean is that some women stay with the wrong BF for too long in some situations and if they are unhappy, it is only up to them to end the relationship and leave...?
Kagroo,
lol, man, I didn't know you were so sensitive. it hurts you more that i didn't ask??? ha ha, i just thought we were good enough friends. I guess not.
Quentin...I told you not to use my toothbrush at least ten thousand times but you still used it. That's why you ended up leaving your own toothbruch at our place.
ha ha ha , Kagroo, you only asked 942 times man, don't exagerate! I think it is so funny that this is a big deal to you. But i will respected that and brought my own toothbrush over. I try to honor peoples toothbrush's space now.
oh no no no, sorry Christine, I should've read what i wrote better or explained it better then. I didn't mean when there was actual abuse (verbal or physical) involved, that's not their/our fault and nobody ever should be treated that way.
I just meant that there are some girls out there that play the victim, as though they've been personally injured by something that they could have avoided, ie: staying with a BF they're unhappy with. I was thinking of Jerry Seinfeld's standup "the Last Stand" (I think that's what it's called) He talks about girls that stay with a guy they totally don't like anymore (for whatever reason) but stays with him because he has her cd's or something silly and makes that the excuse to stay and is like "hmm well he has my fav cd, so i'll just stay for another couple years til I get that back"... just in a comedic way.
Sorry for offending you, I didn't mean it that way whatsoever. I've been in bad situations for example I once dated a guy that ended up slapping me in the face and I did feel like a victim, and there's others that have had a lasting effect. In those cases, we are victims, I was moreso talking about the girls that complain and make excuses but you just scoff at them cause the guy could actually be nice and she's just complaining cause she can.
Sorry again.
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