Viva Las Vegas

If you ever wondered if I hold back when I write on this. If you thought I would write differently in my journal because I would be the only person that would read it, you would be wrong. When I write, I bare my soul and I don't hold back. Here's the last thing I wrote in my journal. I was talking to someone very dear to me last night and I said I would email it for shits n' giggles but I read it and I figured I'd share it for everyone. I sure do talk a lot of shit...even back then.


4-16-04
Out of work and gone from Michigan for six months. One would figure that my friends lives would have crumbled because I was not there to set things straight. This was not the case. Their lives move on, like mine. The familiarity is gone but not forgotten. Tenacious D was right, "The road is fucking hard, it's also really fucking tough," but they also said, "Quit your day job. Focus on your craft one time." So I've tried doing such things. Writing doesn't come to me as easily as it once did. Writing used to be quick, fly by the balls, let it flow but in my age it's become more of a thinking process. I know what I'm capable of and yet I still hold back. Like when I play a pick up game of basketball with my friends. I know I'm good but I don't play as hard because I've already proven myself to them. It's an ever going battle with myself and though i don't show it, I know I have four aces in my hand and maybe I'm waiting patiently until I get them to bet it all and then I've got them right where I want them and that's all right with me.