Three Cheers for Success

What's the best thing to do at a bar? Drink? Check out hot ladies? Did I say drink? Ok...I have to rephrase that question because the first three are all really important when going to the bar. I wanted to say that finding a good bar is hard to do in today's society. So what are the ingredients to finding one of these bars?

1. Jack Daniels. It has to have Jack Daniels in the bottle (If you don't drink, some bars/casinos think it's wise to put the J.D. in a dispenser, like a fountain dispenser and I hate that. It defeats the purpose of tipping the bartender well because there is no exchange for it because they click a button and a certain amount comes out.) To some of you non-drinkers you may think that this isn't a big deal, but it is. It really doesn't taste the same. Some people may like it because I’ve found people to like soda from a fountain over soda from a can. Those people are crazy.
2. Jukebox. It must have a great Jukebox. Most bars play music but it's got to be the right kind. Some have c.d.'s that are c.d's that not even I would own but yet they keep it in there, with the rare chance that a multi-millionaire will come in and want to listen to Aaron Carter's "Oh Aaron." I'm finding out these days that many are switching to the kind where you can download but even these are a bit shady because not all of them will allow you to download certain songs. If a bar has one of these downloadable machines which allows you to download "Trees Lounge," go and never leave. It's a gem and it probably means you will find the man/woman of your dreams.
3. Dart Board. The third and final step in finding a great bar is if it has a dart board. Doc got me into darts a long time ago. I wasn't really a big fan but after playing with him I realized how much fun it can be. You drink more, you get loud and for some reason you feel like you own the place because you are throwing plastic tips (I like the electronic boards because I don't like keeping score) at a board. For all of you non-dart playing mo-fo's...I suggest you start. It's addicting and once you play it, you will not care about pool or Game-A-Tron 2000. It's the bar game of champions.

These are the three things that make up a successful trip to a bar. Three things that will guarantee you a great bonding experience with your friends. I must also add that two of the three are non-drinking related so you can bring your Mormon and Straight Edge friends too…everyone wins. If you think that a bar is great because you get laid all the time...get the fuck out of this Corner Bar. You don't belong here because that's not what it's all about. It's all about the community, the stories, the friendships.