I don't care how you look at it, I don't care how you say it, whatever angle you use, how you write it or mime it, but "Why you are still single?" or "Why aren't married yet?" may be one of the stupidest questions on the face of the Earth. Yes I did say one of the stupidest questions and when I say it like that I don't mean it on the same level as when someone says, "This is the funniest thing I've ever seen." It really isn't one of the funniest scenes you've ever seen, it's just an over used expression. If you think that someone tripping over their shoe is one of the funniest moments in your life, the whole time you've been born, it's time to end it. My point is, those types of questions are fucking stupid.
To me, people who ask you these questions are the people who like to talk during a movie that you just spent ten bucks to see (damn you after six p.m. prices). They love brining up politics at at someone's wake. These are the same people that you always end up in an elevator, with some strange body odor and you are forced to stay on it all the way to the top floor. These are the people you don't want to grow up to be "just like."
So why is it dumb? Well, you should know the answer to that question but just in case you are reading this and you are one of those people who do ask that type of question, let me spell it out for you in as many letters as I can.
Nobody likes to be alone. I enjoy spending time by myself but in the long run I want to get married and have kids. Am I going to date any girl just because I feel the pressure from society? Fuck no. Am I gonna marry her because she's hot, I mean really hot that men get instant boners from? No (ask me when I'm drunk because I may have a different answer to that). The reason why I am on still on the "active list" is because I want to be with someone who knows me. She's not the kind of person I have to explain myself to because she really knows and understands me. I can't help it that I want quality. I can't help it that I'm not the easiest person to understand. That I don't make sense. That I can't explain myself at times, times when I really have to and the only words that come out of my mouth are, "Uh...um..."
Why the fuck do people ask that? Let me ask you a question,
"Why the fuck are you dating that shitty boyfriend? Does he still beat you?"
"Only because he loves me."
I am not sure if this is that person's chance to try and one up you, because you are so much better than they are in so many ways but I seem to get that feeling, that vibe anytime I hear it. It makes me...it really makes me want to sock that person in the face because if they really knew me, if they really KNEW me they wouldn't bother to ask that question and I wouldn't have to be writing about it right now and in the long run that's what it comes down to. So please, to all you dumb ass mo-fo's who are reading this, spread the word to all of your friends. Tell them to stop asking these types of question or the next kind of question your loved ones will be hearing is, "Is this his/her body?" which by now is not one of the stupidest questions on the Earth, it's the GREATEST.
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26 comments:
Well said, Daniel. Here's to hoping that 30-some comments don't show up questioning your character.
By the way, my sister wanted me to ask you: Why are you still single? I think she's interested.
Which sister?
I don't really have character, I'm more of a characacher. I hope thirty people question me because sticks and stones may break my bones but fuck you.
as a wise man once said, "middle finger to this question."
I've heard of this wise man before...he's so smart, he really is.
It's just too easy to spread hate and venom in response to this post, so I'm not going to. I'll just let you know that I refrained.
Sarah Jessica Parker isn't above telling a little white lie to humor her unlucky in love pals. "I tell my friends married life is boring, but that's just a fun thing to say to make single people feel better," Mrs. Matthew Broderick tells the London Daily Mail.
bitch
Dan,
I don't think i have ever known you to not know what to say. I am happy I am the proud, the few, the kind of person that has never asked "that" of you, or Bram for that matter, in my mind he is still single. That married guy that is parading around as Bram had better stop! this act is getting old dude!! well Dan, i always thought that saying "why are you not married yet" is a flirtatious saying. it is the girl telling you that you are special and should have been scooped up a long time ago.
Dave,
spread hate and venom...that's what it's all about.
I've forgotten what I meant earlier today. I know there was something that I wanted to say, other than the standard just ask to piss you off, but I've forgotten what it was. Too hectic in office, and I've forgotten I'll just go for the standard:
So Dan...When you going to settle down and get married anyway? You know, there is nothing better in this world than watching your own flesh and blood be born and then seek all the comfort the world has to offer in your arms. You are really missing out buddy.
Marriage and parenthood is the only true path to fulfillment. You will never enjoy true happiness until you coax your wife into a quickie while the late night silence that only single people understand is shattered by the hunger screams of your precious child in the adjoining bed chamber.
Dave I do know what it's like to share that quickie with your wife...Delicious
Dan, thank you. Really.
Can you please forward this post to my parents, my grandma, my aunts, my uncles, and all my married friends? They, too, need to hear the word of Dan.
Just tell anyone who asks when you are going to get married that you are gay. They will never bring it up again. Especially if it is your parents that are pestering you.
dan, maybe you aren't married because you suck. you are just plain and simple, not attractive in any way to the opposite sex. Is that what you wanted me to say? Is that what you hear when people say "why aren't you married"? don't take it personally man, like i said before, i veiw it as a compliment.
though i can't remember ever saying it to any of my friends. I can understand why people don't want to get married.
95% of my close friends come from two parent homes, marriage is something sacred to them and has been since they were a kid and saw mommy and daddy so happy in love. They don't want to rush into a marriage that has the potential to end in divorce, they are exploring their options and want to make sure they pick the right mate for the long haul. NOw, on the other hand, it is a huge give and take process, the woman of your dreams is not going to fall from the sky and land in your lap, you have to sacrifice some things that have been very comfortable for you in the past. Just because a girl isn't Cinderella doesn't mean she is a complete turd. ok, i am getting into this way to deep and could go on for hours. I will end on that, sorry so abrupt. Dan, fight the power, you will get what you want if your stay focused. "whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right" -one of the US Presidents.
Yes, Quentin...you must understand that most guys don't ask you this question...about 96 percent of the time it's women that ask you this but I decided to not single out women and make it an open comment. I, since that time, have changed my mind to allow you of this.
Also Quentin, I did say that I wanted to get married. I just thought that this was an annoying question because, like I said earlier I feel that everyone wants to get married, it's just a matter of time of finding someone you want to be with.
Dan, I couldn't agree more. I don't think any of my friends are lesser people because they havn't found the right person for them yet. Quite the contrary, I think they are better off because of it. Too many times we see our buddies get married just because they hate "the dreaded question" that started this whole debate. being married, i can totally appretiate both sides of this argument, I am on your side bud.
Q
You should have punched her face in. That's awfuly rude, and warrants a ruthless beating.
Taking out student loans with 12% interest when I was 22 has proven to be a more debillitating long term decision than marriage will ever be.
It seems to me that only middle-aged mothers and singles are preoccupied with marital status. Oh, and the government. It's important to them. They need to know if they can garnish anybody else's wages for that student loan.
I've been married for seven months, and to be honest, I can go for days without really thinking about it. It's like oxygen: it's important, but I'm not conscious of every breath. "Jeezus! Can you believe it?!I'm...fucking...breathing!"
I've got a few friends that live with their girlfriends. They own houses with them. Pay bills with them. They argue about money with them. Eat dinner in silence with them. Fuck like jack-rabbits with them. The difference between them and me? I have a official looking document with our beloved state's seal on it. That's it. Sure, it could be used against me. But then, there are ALOT of things that could be used against me.
Like a Promissary Note for example...
I also have some awful looking pictures with me in a tuxedo, completely hung-over, and smiling like an idiot next to a beautiful woman I don't deserve.
But that's really it.
Unless you count the ability to sleep in the same bed at her parents house and not feel creepy in the morning.
Or the fact that if she dies a horrible death, I'll be compensated very nicely. So well, in fact, I can pay off my student loans.
When we were all in highschool, people wanted to know "Which college are you planning on attending?" When we got to college, it was "What are you going to study?" Then "What are you going to do for a living?" And, of course, "When are you getting married?"
Looking back on it, was graduating fom high school that big of a deal? Was your twenty-first birthday REALLY all that memorable?Do you wake up every morning thinking "Wow...I went to college! Man, that was huge! I'm such a different person!"
Actually, scratch that last one. I wake up every morning thinking college was huge (debt), and I'm such a different person (debtor).
And shortly after you're married: "When are you going to have kids?" Now that's a far bigger question than any of the previous ones. All of our parents are DYING to be grandparents.
But it just doesn't stop.
Marriage is sooo overblown by it's advocates, and sooooo underrated by it's detractors,that it seems ridiculous.
People are doing it later in life, and it's becoming the norm. Too many college graduates are suffering from the ennui that accompanies a quater-life crisis to even consider the thought.
Entertaining the possibillity of quitting your shitty job to help Indugoo get enough vitamin-D to prevents ricketts, in a war torn Congo, sounds so much more alluring.
Chris Rock put succintly when he said you're either "single and lonely, or married and bored."
I don't even know where I'm going with this, except "borrowing" money from the government is a bigger decision to make than marriage.If you don't believe me, than why did God create things like Anullments and Haitian Divorces?
I can't just fly to Haiti and be absolved of my debt, right? Wait a minute. Hmmmmmm......
Lord, I hope my wife doesn't read this!She might realize that I think having a child and enormous debt is more detrimental to the course and direction my life will take than marriage is! Then, my secret would be out!
And shame on you, Herr Doktor, I was hoping you're sister would be available when I'm served with papers.
I should also add that the possibility exists that I take it for granted that I found the perfect woman for me, hence marriage was a no-brainer, and doesn't feel like that big of a deal.
Believe it or not, that is not a disclaimer, in the event that my wife should read this.
I am friends with no one on here...I just keep my enemies close.
where can i get more info?
I think quaig is pretty pissed off about his school debt.
Marriage is a personal choice between two people. It's timing in life should have no bearing on the decision. I was way too young to get married, but it was the perfect choice at the time. I don't want my children to get married at the same age that I did, unless they have a relationship like I do with my wife. Yes, I was young, but that is the way it worked out, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. If asked two months before I started dating my wife if I would ever get married I would have said "no fucking way, ever." If asked two months after I started dating my wife, I would have said, "yes, I'm going to marry this woman right here the second I get her to say yes." It took less than a second to get her to say yes. It was simply perfect. But I am a single example, and there is no set pattern to follow. It requires the right time, the right person, and about a million other factors to fall perfectly into place. It just happens to be different for everyone.
If people are asking and pushing and giving advice, all I can say is "fuck off".
Q,
While I cannot comment on the virtues of growing up in a happily married two parent home I can tell you that people who come from divorced homes, the type where their formally married parents scream at each other and step-parents hate the kids simply for existing because they remind the step-parent that his/her spouse had a relationship before the current marriage, grow up in fucked up situations. Believe me, those kids strive to avoid that shit, and they don't take marriage likely. I learned an awful lot from my parents, in the same way that NASA learned a lot from the Discovery shuttle.
I meant to say that I learned a lot from my parents in the same way that NASA learned a lot from the Challenger Shuttle.
The Discovery still seems to be doing just fine.
I suppose the point I was trying to illustrate was that there are alot of other decisions in life that carry as much weight (if not more), that we all have made (or will make).
miss ams is correct in saying debt can be worked through, but that doesn't change my credit score.Am I pissed off? Sure. I would like to purchase things that require a healthy credit report. And I will. Eventually. But making that choice at 22 has effected the scope of the choices I make now,as I approach 30, in a negative way. And I feel like I was forced into it.
Of all the societal conventions we're pressured into, marriage is the one that we're most obsessed with, and shouldn't be. We can gladly thank television for that.
Why aren't making comments about how you HAVE to go to college, and alot of us do before we have any clue as to what we want to do with our lives? Or how you MUST have a B.S. or a B.A. to get any kind of job, but the economy sucks so bad right now that only people with post-graduate degrees are doing anything remotely associated with what they set out to achieve in the first place? Or that some of us put ourselves in this unique position by borrowing money- because we had to go to school to get jobs that college did not prepare us for?
Love is not a certainty in life. It never was. But owing the man and your own demise will always be there, waiting for you, no matter your race, size, shape, level of fulfillment, or, yes, marital status.
If one were to get divorced and thrown back into the dating circuit, a previous marriage would not hinder one from becoming wed again. Not as much as debt would interfere with applying for a credit card, trying to buy a house, purchasing a car, etc...
Or consider this:
How many of us here has had a few too many and chose to drive? Or gone home with someone we hardly knew and had unprotected sex? Or purchased and consumed an unregulated recreational drug? They didn't make afterschool specials for nothing. All of these scenarios are choices that carry possible ramifications that limit and destroy lives more than marriage and/or divorce.
I think AIDS, death and addiction are worse than a broken home. 60% of America comes from a broken home. And we've adapted. We survived. We overcame.
Check out Bill Murray in "Lost in Translation" when he's explaining how his life unfolded. It's a very eloquent scene in which he more or less says that getting married wasn't that life altering. "Having kids" he says "changes everything."
Now, realizing this thing has gotten off subject a bit, I think kagroo's original post was about rotten people asking that insipid question in the first place. To which I must respond:
If it's a girl, she's throwing herself at you.
If it's a guy, it's a married buddy that desperately wants to hang out with his ol' pal again, in a manner his wife will feel comfortable with and not left out of. "Look,honey,his wife loves (female hobby/activity), too! You guys should talk about it and have fun while we men drink ourselves silly and try to recapture our glory days!"
If it's a parent, relative, or anyone else middle-aged, they are saying, quite simply: "When are you going to grow up?"
Love and marriage don't always go together like a horse and carriage. It's wonderful when they do, but not always the case. It's about good management. You're in business together. It's a merger, and you're partners. When you have children you can ditch the "CEO" analogy and adopt the "Tribe" one.
So...pick a partner and breed, ferchrissakes!
"It's only life. You get on with it." - Doc Holiday
dave,
once agian, great perspective. I had no idea your childhood/upbringing was that way. I can understand how childrens from homes such as that can view marriage as a more sacred treasure than the average two parent home child. tuche' (sp?) I hold marriage in very hi esteem. My views are somewhat on a different plain than the "worlds" veiw on marriage. To me, divorce isn't an option now that Gibson is around. Cheating, infadelity in any way, and dishonesty are totally out of the question. ok, this isn't what the original post was about, it is about a question that no single person wants to hear. sorry, once again i have wondered.
i need a fucking wife to do my christmas shopping. i've figured out(actually, been told straight out)that married men only have to shop for their wives and those bitches do the rest of the work. is anyone looking to get rid of one, loan one out, marry one off? call me
Christine,
I would love to help you out, but you live in Jersey and my wife just can't make the trip right now. Otherwise, she would be more than happy to spend your money. The wives do the shopping becuase they love to shop, I don't. I love to see loved ones open gifts i give them, but i don't necessarily like shopping for them.
Christine, my advice to you, marry a man that loves to shop, if there is a straight one out there.
Q
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