Hello fellow readers. I'm currently writing to bigger articles and trying to organize a two month stay in Michigan...oh yeah, also trying to work on the website so it's been busy to keep up with everything. I know your taste buds are watering for new material so I'll give you this to ponder on. Even though I HATE hypathetical questions, I found this one to be interesting. Why? Well the main reason was of the response I got.
I was at work today, counting down the minutes until I'm free and I thought of this question, "Would you eat a piece of human brain for a million dollars." I of course thought that was a no brainer...pun intended and said yes. People at work said no they wouldn't. They gave me reasons that it wasn't enough money. That it wasn't the right thing to do. I was shocked. I mean it's just a piece of brain and in my hypathetical question, the brain is from a human body, of someone who had passed away in their sleep, no diseases and said it was ok for someone to eat a part of their brain. Why do I feel like I'm the only one that said they would do it?
3 comments:
The answer would be determined by the answers to a few questions I have. For starters, how the brain was prepared...sauteed in olive oil would be nice; sprinkled lightly with garlic salt and pepper. However, if the brain had been kept in a jar of phemaldehide (even temporarirly, it would ruin it for me. It would smell like 7th grade biology, and taste like rubber.Also, fresh,raw brain doesn't sound tasty.
It would also help to know the history of the cadaver...was it healthy (no Brain Cancer, chemical imbalances, AVM's, etc..)? It would also be nice to know the IQ of the person. It's easier to reconcile eating a brain if the brain-owner was a member of the National Science Academy, or a Professer of Bio-Physics at MIT. Not that it would make the brain tastier, it would just be easier to justify the fact that I was eating brain.
Now...would I be required to eat the whole brain, or just a sample? Could I taste the pituitary gland to see if it gives me any super-human powers?
Would I be hooked up to machines, monitoring my heart-rate, brain-waves, and pulse? Would there be a physical before and after? Would I be expected to return for a follow-up? Would they require a stool sample? Would there be a medical team standing by, waiting for me to go into convulsions?
Or is this just for some rich guys pleasure? Would he be standing there, perspiration on his upper-lip, shaking anxiously, like a dirty voyeur?
Also, would the brain-eating be a national, televized event that would make the headlines, or would it be a quiet meal behind closed doors with a few witnesses and judges? This matters. Getting the ol' "Hey, I know you...You're the brain-eating guy!!!" for the rest of your life could be detrimental to your emotional well being, not to mention your children and family may be psychicly damaged by the recognition of their last name.
But on the flip-side, it takes serious balls to eat brains, right? Wouldn't you WANT people to know? Imagine the confidence you would have in any situation. In the bar, conference room, back alley...you would be a shining example of serenitude.
"Doesn't phase me",you would mutter flatly."I eat brains."
As for the million-dollars, who is putting up the money? If the National Science Foundation had to know the effects of brain matter mastication, I would gladly give myself to the cause and accept their money. But what if some unscrupulous company that the Bush-Cheney administration had invested in and hired to conduct the tissue-chewing to see if it would boost the omnipotence of soldiers in Iraq? I may have some concerns.
Would this money be taxed by the government? Would I have to claim it on my taxes or could I write it off, for my contribution to science and humanity?
Would I recieve it as one lump sum, or would I recieve payments (a million-dollars in small increments can be stretched over many years)?
Could I write about my experiences in a autobiography with absurd titles like "Juicy Memories", "You Thought What I Ate", or "No, Really, I'm Not a Zombie". Then could I sell the rights for a network mini-series, entitled "Money Beats Dignity"?
And finally, could I trade this whole arrangement for something else? Could I sleep with every woman who has been/will be in Victoria's Secret Cataloge, by drinking their urine? Could I rule the free world for a year and a day if I clean a truck stop bathroom with my toungue? Could I be allowed unlimited access into CIA and Pentegon classified files and documents, simply by spending a month in a russian Gulag?
I need to know. I'm particular about my brain eating.
Dan, you are not alone man. I would eat that thing like it was chili cheese fritos!! There is no moral implications there. I hardly consider it canabalism. yeah, for a million, no problem. I have eaten a piece of cow brain before, how different could it be?
Q
Careful there, guys. If I'm not mistaken, there may be evidence that eating human brains leads to Creutzfeld-Jakob disease, the human form of mad cow disease, which turns your brain into a sponge.
You can find out more at the links found on this page.
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