The Atkins-Friendly Diet is No “Friend” of Mine.

“Why don’t you go on a diet?”
“Because I like to eat. Is that such a crime?”
Jack Black – School of Rock


I was at a friend’s place the other night and he offered me some ice cream. Having a sweet tooth I took him up on it. Mint Chocolate Chip, one of my favorites, but after the first bite I started looking for the hidden cameras. This is not Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream, this is not even food. The chocolate chips tasted like chalk and even though the ice cream was frozen, it tasted room temperature in my mouth.

“What’s wrong with this ice-cream?,” I ask in a confused state of mind.
“Oh, it’s Atkins-Friendly ice cream.”
“Why does it taste so bad?”
“It’s not that bad.”

Oh but it was that bad. In fact ladies and gentlemen, it was terrible. Why would they want to make ice cream taste bad? Why would they want to make it look like ice cream was good for you? And this event opened my eyes. It was like I was in a slumber for a very, very long time and I started to notice other things around me.

I was at Burger King waiting in line, waiting to buy a nice greasy chicken sandwich and some onion rings (because that’s what you do at a fast food place). It was when I looked to my right and saw that they had an Atkins-Friendly burger.
First of all, it’s taboo to eat a burger without the bun. Second, it’s a burger from Burger King. I doubt that it’s the cream of the crop of meat so just because there are no carbs in it, it doesn’t mean that it’s gonna be great for the ol’ ticker
There was another time I was sitting on the couch drinking a delicious Coca-Cola when I saw a commercial on t.v. for the new C2, which is a new Coke product that has half the carbs of a regular Coke. It had people jumping out of their cars, with “I Want to Break Free” by Queen in the back ground, revolting from the harsh days of regular Coke and it’s “evil” carbs.
They are trying to make C2 look healthier then Coke, which I guess in some weird way it is, but in the long run people, IT’S STILL SODA. This isn’t something that your body needs to survive. You can either have a really sugary soda with lots of carbs, or you can have a really sugary soda with half the carbs. It’s your choice.
And the list goes on and on and on of junk food type related items. They even have low-carb beers. The last thing I’m thinking about when I drink a beer is my carb intake. It is as pointless as buying non-alcoholic beer.
So why am I seeing these junk food items presented to me in an Atkins healthy manner? This was starting to look like one of those get rich scams. You know the type where they say, “It’s really easy to do, there is little work involved and the final results will amaze you.” In all honesty I have seen people lose some weight on it. So it can’t be that bad can it? So I emailed my good friend Bram Spitael and asked why we needed carbohydrates and why is the Atkins diet so popular and this is what he replied,

“In a nutshell, your body NEEDS carbohydrates because it's our number one source of energy. But maybe even more importantly, if you don't care about having energy, you will have one heck of a hard time getting the proper nutrition (i.e. vitamins, minerals, fiber, etc.) from a predominantly protein rich diet. It's your fruits, veggies, legumes, beans, whole grains that contain most of the bulk of these all important nutrients that you simply can not replace by popping a multi-vitamin/mineral supplement while on the Atkins diet. A balanced diet helps your immune system, metabolism, reduces heart disease, lowers risk of certain cancers, energy system,
The problem with the Atkins diet is that it works. People LOVE results and will sacrifice the above mentioned benefits from a balanced diet for the quick fix Atkins diet. Who doesn't LOVE a breakfast of eggs, ham, bacon every morning? A cheeseburger for lunch and a big juicy steak for dinner? See ya in the hospital in about 5 years when all that artery clogging saturated fat finally blocks your arteries!
Bottom line, get OFF your LAZY FAT ASS and do some MODERATE exercise, EAT healthy 5 or 6 days a week, and PIG OUT once or twice a week and vegetate.”

And that paragraph did it for me. There is a difference between eating good and dieting. Eating good is a nice chicken breast, some rice and some steamed vegetables. Dieting is something people do as a New Years resolution or right before it’s time to go to the beach for the Summer. It’s something that you kind of want to do but not put the time into it and this is why the Atkins diet is such a big craze. That’s why it hasn’t faded away like other things such as tight rolling jeans and parachute pants.
The Atkins diet is the lazy man’s diet and that’s why they are gearing it towards people who like to eat. These big time corporations distribute these “friendly” foods for you. The Atkins diet allows you to eat whatever you want, as much as you want, just as long as you don’t eat carbs.
So why do I hate this Atkins diet so much? Well besides the fact that it’s not good for you and is totally going against the Four Food groups that everybody learned in first grade, remember the one that told us to eat our fruits and vegetables, dairy, meat and oh yeah, grains? It’s tainting one of the last pure things that I have left in my life, and that is junk food. It’s one of my guilty pleasures and I want to enjoy a Snickers bar from time to time and don’t want to worry about how many carbs are in it.
I’m not one to preach but you got to open your eyes America. It’s time to take back what is ours. It’s time to say, “I got to break free,” from this Atkins diet and come back to reality. You can’t have both. You can’t have junk food that’s good for you. It’s time to make a choice. I don’t care what they say to you, no matter what, you can’t have your cake and eat it too, even if it is Atkins-Friendly.