So the other night I was at the drive through ATM. This is when I noticed that there was Braille on it. I found this odd because I wasn't sure that blind people could drive, but as soon as I got done with that thought, a blind man drove up to the ATM next to me. How do I know that he was blind? He rolled down the window and said,
"Hey can you see where the ATM is, I'm a little blind?" in a very condescending voice.
To which I could only reply,
"Yeah, it's to the left of you."
"Oh hey...thanks there buddy," he said as he took a swig from a forty of Mickey's he had in his other hand.
I wasn't sure what was going on but I knew something was up. I knew a chance like this would never happen again so I yelled over to the guy.
"I don't mean to be rude or anything, but it appears that you are blind...and drunk."
"Yeah, isn't it great?"
"Well if you don't mind me asking, how do you know where to go? I mean, how can you drive?"
"Did you ever read Daredevil? All blind people are like that. Ha, just kidding there buddy," he said as he took another swig and mumbles, "That never gets old."
All of these questions ran through my mind; How did he know if they were the right bills he was getting back? Did he really have Daredevil-like powers or was it just blind luck? Why was he drinking and driving? Why am I drinking and driving?
And then it dawned on me. I wasn't drinking and driving. I was laying, passed out in a trunk of a car pissing my pants. I must have had one too many shots and dared someone that I could sit in the trunk of a car. I don't remember now. I don't even remember how I got here. I don't even remember having to piss, but these are things that I don't ask the questions too because I'm still trying to figure out why there is Braille on the drive through ATM's.
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2 comments:
I understand where you are coming from Dan. I recently found myself in a similar situation wherein I was contemplating why strippers have stretch marks. Or perhaps, I was simply contemplating why one stripper in particular has stretch marks. I'm guessing that it is for the same reasons that drive through ATM's have braille. It is so that Blind people know where to place their hands. At any rate, I didn't piss myself, but did manage to fall down a flight of stairs shortly thereafter.
ha...that was kind of a funny statement...if you meant for it to be funny.
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