At times I find it tough working in retail again. Nobody loves working in retail and if they say they do, they are a fucking liar. One of the benefits of working where I do is that I work in a mall on the Vegas strip. For the most part, I talk to people from all over the world. The other day when I was ringing up a customer, I found that I was having problems talking with her. You see she was a dud when it came to talking and so I was forcing my way into her small little world. I eventually found out that she was from Arizona and the reason why she was down here was that her husband was participating in a skeet shooting competition.
"How long has your husband been doing that for?" I asked in the nicest way.
"You know you shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition. You should say, 'How long has your husband been doing that?' I'm an English teacher, I should know."
Now, this of course pissed me off. Ok, first of all she was so boring that I've had better conversations with myself. Second, she thought she had some type of power outside of her class. The nerve of her.
"I'll remember that the next time I write a paper for you," I said in the most sarcastic way possible. In a way where I was standing at the customer service line of good manners with a middle finger in the air, but yet, still not crossing it. Lets just say we stopped talking after that.
So I did end it with a preposition, but do I really fucking care? Fuck no.
Yes, I'm an English major but do I always talk proper? No. I said I was an English major, not English.
I'm sure when she was younger she had no friends. She was an only child that would stare outside of her window, looking down at the other kids laughing and playing, swearing to herself that one day she will make them all pay. She swore to become a crappy English teacher who would always correct you every chance she got.
It's those teachers that really make students not want to write. That make them dread going to class. I understand the need for structure because if we didn't have it, people would be talking "all crazy n' shit." But lets worry about getting those creative juices out first. Lets worry about having interesting conversations with strangers. Lets worry about the nature of the flow and not having it blocked by a "damn" of rules. Bend the rules. Bend them, don't break them. Oh fuck it. You got my panties all up in a bunch. Next thing you know it, I'll be up on stage with a man behind me playing the bongos. I'm done writing now. If you don't like it, what else do I have to write for?
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21 comments:
good call. that is irony at its finest. man she thinks she is so great because she can correct you and say "I am an English teacher so that makes it ok for me to be an English Nazi anywhere in the world" little did she know that you are probably far more educated than her when it comes to english. hello, K-college?!?! ever hear of it. yeah, its tough, I should know i went there once with my buddy Dan to listen to music and be philosophical about it!! Boody-kow!!
Dan.......I LOVE your writing!! You should be a writer and/or a stand-up comedian. I thinks it's your calling!! And, by the way, it's "preposition" not "proposition". A proposition is what you want to give to a lady.:)-K.S.
You are right. I was drinking when I wrote this and I figured it was wrong but didn't care. It's like I said, I'd much rather get the meat and potatoes out rather then worry about spelling and shit.
Plus...FUCK SPELLING. Have a nice day everyone.
Word! I love your "meat and potatoes"! Hmmm.....I'm not sure what I meant by that?? :)-KS
oh you know what you meant by that. It means you like meat and potatoes...duh.
I hate how this works sometimes...It takes forever for things to post or to show up. BOO.
You are the man.
Keep it up.
The man with meat and potatoes......
Truly, it was really F'n rude of her to correct you! Sounds like she needs a little lesson in manners. And you're right.....I'm sure she has NO friends. Sad really........
Dan, that is hysterical. And your retort was classic. I am sure I couldn't have come up with such a perfect response in a workplace environment. I probably would've either gotten fired for swearing, or gone and hid in the backroom.
Well Dana, I'm pretty sneaky in a way where I can do things that I receive some type of satisfaction and in a way where I can't really get in trouble. I think it's a trick I learned through my father. He got pulled over once in New Jersey and in their community you don't give locals speeding tickets. It's just one of those crazy,small town mentalities. My dad knew that so he just sat in his car and stared in front of him, silent, when the Police officer was talking. The officer got so mad that he started yelling at my dad and stomping his foot on the ground. Needless to say, my dad didn't get a ticket and the officer let him off with a warning.
I guess I'm the only one who thinks you overreacted. Which one of you was being more arrogant: the English teacher for correcting your grammar, or you for thinking you're above being corrected? All she did was correct you, and you came back with a snide remark, got upset, and then got drunk.
So you've got a English degree from a fancy school? From what you've written in this blog how could anyone tell? You're always presenting the rough draft. That's like wearing flip-flops to a funeral. You know in your mind that you could look better, but just didn't want to put in the effort, and no one else can tell the difference.
You can get your "meat and potatoes" out all you want, but how much effort does it take to proofread? You used the excuse that you "didn't care," but how can the rest of us tell whether you're lazy or ignorant?
I can understand being a little more relaxed with grammar during casual conversation, but why be so uptight when you're corrected? Why not just let it go?
I think you took it too personally. Put yourself in her shoes: you've devoted your life to teaching English to school children only to encounter adults who appear to be less educated. She's probably a little bit frustrated from being underpaid to fight an uphill battle. The least you could do is cut her some slack, take it like a man, and say, "Thank you for shopping at Eddie Bauer."
i'm pretty sure that her husband does skeet shooting just to practice for the day he snipes her from the roof of a nearby building. i figure i better end this with a preposition: Lady, shut the fuck up!
My English is really poor, and even I always replace should with could were I can. I also state my level of education before I correct anyone. haha
Jeff I'll tell you why I got pissed. So I put a preposition at the end. So she corrected me, right? All she did though was tell me that I can't end a sentence with a preposition but if you think about it, if I ended a sentence with a preposition when I wasn't supposed to, wouldn't you assume that I didn't know what one was and that she should have explained to me what one was? See, it was that half ass attempt to try and correct me that really ticked me off. I don't brag that I went to K. I don't even tell people that I went there because then you assume that I'm smart. That I know it all and I don't. Fuck it. I'm dropping this shit NOW.
Dang J, get of dan's back. seriously. do you think dan is in the wrong here?? yeah, he has an Engish degree, that doesn't mean he has to use perfect english all the time. do you see me writing into MTV and telling all the rappers to use proper grammar?!@? no peopel usually know they are not talking correctly, they just don't care, and being corrected by someone you don't know isn't going to make them care any more or less.
Q
I think qhunt's last comment just gave me a stroke.
I think that's what he was going for.
it's like a catfight in here - rowr!!
let the mud wrestling begin next...
I don't care if someone is the foremost expert on english. it just isn't something that is correctable in public. you can correct or brother, or your child, but not a complete stranger as though you are really doing them a favor by correcting them. come on her folks. now, if they are taking a wrong turn, or the wrong medications and you know about these things, than yes, correct them. but when they us poor grammar, i don't think they need a lesson in an Eddie Bauer store.
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