How crazy is Easter? I mean, besides the fact that Jesus rose from the dead (a.k.a. as a zombie), but that there's a bunny rabbit that lays fucking eggs. Colored eggs even. I can understand Santa, because he's got elves building toys for him and he's got a list that he checks twice and reindeer that fly. So we've got the whole backstory to that, but the fucking Easter Bunny?
Is he some strange Government project gone wrong? Is he a freak accident when a chicken and a bunny breed? Oh yeah, while you got me on that, we all assume that the Easter Bunny is a guy but yet, chickens are females, so is he a hermaphrodite of the chicken/bunny breed? Why are the eggs colored? Is it due to a poor diet or does he have some type of internal bleeding?
These are all valid questions. I'm not overthinking things. Someone today said that I'd be bad if I had kids because I over thought things, but she was way wrong. These are the right questions to ask because when kids talk about the Easter Bunny they should all be talking about the same thing, or the Easter Bunny "story."
"Well my dad told me that the Easter Bunny comes at night time."
"You're dad is a fucking liar. In fact, you don't even have a dad."
Do you see the problems that the inconsistency of a story could cause a young, impressionable child? Especially of something like the Easter Bunny. All I'm saying is that we should get the story straight, it may not be believable, but at least have the backstory set up, or else next time I see you Easter Bunny...instead of eating ham...I'm going to eat you.
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6 comments:
the other day there was a story in the kalamazoo gazette and at a mall in the flint/detroit/eastside motel area the easter bunny did indeed get his ass handed to him.
according to the story at a dull time a 13 year old male asked if he could go see the easter bunny when there were no kids sitting on his lap. so this kid gets his chance and walks up and brings his fist and his cleat and shows him the boot as well. the easter bunny, reportedly, did not fight back. and after a few hard hits the 13 year old split.
the young assailant was arrested shortly after the attack and had no real reason for this action.
if i were editor this would have been called 'brody's revenge.' i do not care how much pressure the easter bunny has been under, his actions are not to be forgotten.
Sounds like your maybe a little bitter?? Something from your childhood perhaps? And a "zombie", Dan?? Come on.........
i defer to charles shultz's The Easter Beagle. this should answer all of your questions, especially the ones about what music is appropriate for Jesus rising from the dead (it's 70's funk/disco, apparently).
The Easter bunny doesn't lay the eggs--he's just the delivery guy. There's a whole coop-complex of chickens laying multi-colored eggs.
Christmas is run by a monarch (aka "Santa"), whereas Easter is run through commune mentality.
Sheesh... Pick up a civics book sometime.
fut the whuk?
dun writing?
say is a april fools?
like goin to wayside to meet april it does not work out! and the you end up kickin it with ya homes.
For being one of the crappiest bars I have ever had the displeasure of drinking in, there are an awful lot of references to the Wayside on this blog.
The ass whipping explains a lot. The Easter Bunny didn't make it to my house this year, but it's OK, The kids didn't seem to notice.
Jesus has risen, Happy Easter.
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